In Which Bane Gets a Bath

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Sponsored by bathing Japanese Macacques.

Mom's been saying that Bane was getting stinky, and she's been threatening to bathe her. But today she came home from work to find muddy paw-prints all over the front rooms of the house--not to mention, Bane jumped up on her as soon as she came through the door and left muddy paw-prints all over the front of Mom!

We went out on the deck for some sun before dinner, and when Mom and Bane were making kissy-face, Mom noticed that even Bane's whiskers were coated in mud! She had mud in her eyes, for crying out loud. She gets this way digging for chipmunks, by the way. Bane, I mean, not Mom.

So straightaway after dinner, into the bathroom they went. Mom tried to comb out all the burrs Bane had collected in her fur this spring, and then into the tub they went. And yes, Mom goes in with her! It's quite a production, you can hear it all over the house, as Bane weighs 60 pounds and does not like baths. Funny thing, that--I like showers. But Bane is hard to drag into the tub, and then is constantly struggling to get out, which Mom says makes her front end damn difficult to get clean. But she likes the toweling part afterward, whereas I hate to be toweled! Mom bought me my own little gray towel, trying to make me think it was my momma or some such thing, like I'm gonna fall for that.

But anyways, after the bath Mom and Bane come out front and loll around on the floor doing "towel massage". Bane moans with pleasure, and Mom talks baby talk to her, and even though I'm with Dad, who I like better anyway, I get jealous.

Mom says the whole process is back-breaking, and she just wants to take her Sleepy Tea and go to bed. But as I said, washing the dog is a production. There are two loads of laundry to do now, what with the clothes that got muddy and the bathroom rug and all the towels it takes to get such a hairy dog dry!